First of all, Happy Mother’s Day to all the mum’s out there! I had a really good day with my Mum and Grandma – ate a big, yummy, warm tea and even had the chocolate cake that I baked this morning with vanilla icecream for dessert. (I’ll post the recipe sometime, it was my first time using it and it turned out really good!)
About half an hour ago bf and I were sitting on the couch and my tummy was hanging out a bit, as it does on occasion (I like to let it out to play after dinner time). I’ve known for a while that I’ve had a tummy but it’s easy to stay in denial. When we saw bf’s cousin a while back it was the first time we’d seen her in a while and she said “Oh you’re still tiny!”. I could’ve kissed her. Well-meaning friends don’t really help, either. Everyone keeps telling me I’m skinny and “there’s no fat on me” – some friends because they’re bigger than me so don’t think I should be allowed to talk about my weight, and others because they’re far skinnier than me and don’t want me to feel bad. Of course I don’t want my friends to turn around and go “Word, sista – you fat!” but it is time I faced the facts. Which I was forced to do about an hour ago.
Bf and I decided to weigh ourselves on the bathroom scales. Like I said, I’ve known for a while I’ve been putting on weight, and so have kinda been avoiding weighing myself. For like a year. And I am now officially 10kgs heavier than I was before. I know people these days are all “be proud of your body, be natural, etc. etc.”, but I know that my weight increase is because of my diet and exercise. More specifically, my lack of the aforementioned. Damn you, KFC! Curse you BK!
I’ve never been a fan of exercise. Or strenuous movement of any kind. And now it’s all cold and dark and wintery it’s so easy to sneak some hot tasty chips then curl up in bed and just grow and grow and grow…. but it’s just not healthy. I don’t feel healthy and I don’t feel fit. (Although the not feeling fit part doesn’t bother me as much as it probably should).
I’m not going to be hasty and make all sorts of impossible resolutions on the spur of the moment, it’s enough to realise that I need to. I think they will involve water, fruit and strenuous movements.
It’s like a nightmare.
I’m going to curl up in my nice, warm bed now. It doesn’t care how cuddly I get.