The Mummy films are those movies that are seem to always be randomly on free-to-air TV from time to time. Doesn’t really matter which one. Tonight they’re playing The Mummy Returns, without playing the prequel first. Doesn’t really matter, we’ve all seen them before anyway.
Maybe that’s why I like them so much. For me they’re the perfect mix of action, pretend history hokey, and lovable characters. Yes, lovable. Also, I have a low scare threshold, so I like action and resurrected mummies and whatnot without having to sleep with the light on for a few days after. And the hott mamas.
Intrepid librarian, mother, ancient Egypt expert, wife, and eyeline queen number one, Evie is one cool chick. Some may be bothered by the nuclear family aspect of this film, but for me I like to see healthy wife/husband and parents/child relationships in a film for once.
Besides, which kid didn’t wish their parents were swashbuckling adventurers and hunters of ancient artifacts in Egypt?
Played by the ever-ravashing Rachel Weisz, I can’t help but love her. Go the foxy librarian!
Eyeline queen number two is Anck Su Namun, played by Patricia Velasquez. The mistress of a Pharoh, Anck Su Namun is one hott villainness. Her love story with evil/misunderstood villain number one, high priest Imhotep, is actually kind of romantic. I mean, killing yourselves and suffering 3000 years of torture so that one day you can resurrect eachother and take over the world with your undead armies is kinda sweet…. right??
Of course, in the film Evie discovers she is the reincarnation of the cuckhold Pharoh’s daughter, and Anck Su Namun’s sworn enemy. (Naturally). She has visions of when they lived together in ancient Egypt. Mostly just hanging out, doing regular ancient Egyptian stuff like dressing in masks and sexy outfits and fighting eachother with what look like Sai.
As you do.
I mean, me and my friends do that every Tuesday night.
Yeah, they’re a bit skinny on it, but they’ve got the wigs and the eyeliner and the masks, so we can’t ask for too much.
So, yup. That’s it. I’m watching The Mummy Returns again – go the ancient Egyptian gorgeousness!